Start your review of Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Write a review Jan 19, Gail rated it liked it John Gottman should feel sad for two reasons: 1 he buries astute analysis and fabulously practical advice of which he is rightfully proud inside a tomb of, frankly, boring writing and poor organization, and 2 he writes for a cripplingly heterogeneous audience. For a mother who already embraces her own emotions and honors them in her children, reading Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child feels like a socialite perusing a manual of polite social interaction written for the autistic. I John Gottman should feel sad for two reasons: 1 he buries astute analysis and fabulously practical advice of which he is rightfully proud inside a tomb of, frankly, boring writing and poor organization, and 2 he writes for a cripplingly heterogeneous audience. Color me frustrated. When they cry out of fear, sadness, or anger, they experience only more fear, more sadness, and more anger. Now that he has dismissing and disapproving parents on board and laissez-faire and emotion coaching parents bored , Gottman sets about explaining how a parent switches styles: analyzing and altering her approach to her own emotions.
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Click to share on Pinterest Opens in new window As parents, we want the very best for our kids. We work hard to raise strong individuals who will go on to lead happy lives and have good moral standing. With Emotion Coaching we now have a science-based roadmap for how to raise well-balanced, higher achieving, and emotionally intelligent children. Research by Dr. John Gottman shows that emotional awareness and the ability to manage feelings will determine how successful and happy our children are throughout life, even more than their IQ.
Being an Emotion Coach to our kids has positive and long-lasting effects, providing a buffer for the complexities of life that allows them to be more confident, intelligent, and well-rounded individuals. Do recognize negative emotions as an opportunity to connect.
Children have a hard time controlling their emotions. Stay compassionate, loving, and kind. Communicate empathy and understanding so that your child can begin to understand and piece together their heightened emotional state. Is it because Sandy took your toy?
Negative emotions are age appropriate and will eventually subside as kids grow. By disregarding their feelings as insignificant or sending the message that their feelings are bad, you are in effect sending the message that they are bad. This damaging perception can stay with them throughout adulthood. Do help your child label their emotions.
Do set limits and problem-solve. Help them find ways of responding differently in the future. Enlist their help in seeking alternative solutions to their struggles. Kids yearn for autonomy, and this is a great way to teach them that they are capable of self-regulating themselves in a world that seems unfair and particularly upsetting. Remind them that all emotions are acceptable but all behaviors are not. How can you express your feelings without hitting next time?
As children, however, they need a listening ear, a hand to hold, and a parent who can challenge them to reach from within and respond accordingly. Being a parent is a challenging and never-ending job.
With just three small steps, you can raise children who are bright, self-confident, and better able to navigate the intricacies of life with ease and confidence. Subscribe below to receive useful tools for raising emotionally intelligent children directly to your inbox.
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
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Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child